I wish i got to see certain people a bit more than i do, but it wont stop me from trying. I'm not that kind of person, really. I give and give and give until i can't give anymore. Than when i have nothing left to give i just hope that what i have given to the ones i love made them strong enough to give back to me.
I know i can't keep giving to everyone though, even if i wanted to. I don't want to take, but i don't want to give. If i have to keep giving i want to know I'm going to get something back. For once.
I do everything i possibly can for my best friends, and significant others and i don't know why.
Why should i go 20 minutes out of my way to fight someone for my best friend if as soon as i leave there going to be hanging out? Why should i try talking to someone who will never actually listen to what I'm saying?
I just hate that no matter who I'm friends with and no matter who i date i still feel like a piece of shit. It doesn't matter if i fuck them, or fight them, or talk to them for years, or talk to them for days... i still feel worthless. I know that the only person who can truly make me happy is me, but how am i supposed to do that when I'm too busy trying make everyone else happier.
"and isn't it great to find, you're really worth nothing and how safe it is to feel safe"
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your truly an amazing person kayla, and one day you'll be with somone who will make you feel happy in return, you can only give so much without getting anything back.
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