I just lost my first match for gold. I guess I'm going for bronze again.I'm not happy with that.I want to be better than I am so I'm going to keep working harder and harder and if I keep losing than that just means I'm not good enough for the sport. So now I'm hudled in my monkey sleeping bag, listening to soft music, and trying to calm down.three pounts. That's what I lost by. The reff kept saying I was out but I wasn't. That's bullshit.

On the bright side.

"we own the sky"
"The only thing we share is the same sky."

You're not as willing to fix things as you expect. However, You are my best so I'll keep holding on. It may seem like i'm blowing this all off but I'm not. I've been thinking about it a lot and like i said, my love for my best friend is unconditional. It's been four years of fighting, ditching, arguing, bickering, leaving and forgetting and if i haven't left yet, and I'm not going to. Mainly because of the four years of love, and promise, and comfort, and strength and hope. You're my all.

Nothing Gold Can Stay.

All you are is gold.
Our story's second's fold
what else is there to say?
Nothing gold can stay.

We all have a secret.

i am saddest of surrounding men.

I wandered off while you bled
monotone faces and tears shed.
Your soft hands scream in my head
fill me and scrap me with your lead.

cry away; mind's marquee sways
tensions push to get out of this place.
breathe to pace, vision shakes.
Sounds sweet lakes, Yours I'll take.

How I wish, how I wish you were here.

You two girls are so beautiful. Grace, you do inspire me. Somehow, i feel you. Shelby, you keep me together. Piece by piece. You are my best friend and i wouldn't be able to be completely happy without you in my life. Grace, I love how you are the definitive of my summer, and i love how close we became at the time. It's sad that we're still not like that but i think we can get it back. I think you're, well, i know you're a great person and i love just being around you. You give off a great energy and you make me happy to be alive. It sounds dramatic but i can give you a picture of what i feel when i think of you:
Soft sounds, music, indie, good smells; comforting; calm. I think of you as art. I don't get as calm with anyone else, calm and in tune.

Shelby, don't let anything slip away when you move. I can't live without my Harry. J. potter.

I write this about you two because you're both people that make me happy, and i'm not feeling happy anymore. Happens every winter.