Poison Oak.

I'm glad I can say that I'm not in that "love isn't real" state from this. I know that love is there, and that I didn't feel it with you. I couldn't have. If it's not there now, if it's not mutually felt than it wasn't there. I'm happy that that's what the case is. I'm happy that I know I will find love, and that I will find someone who's true. Something that is real, something new. A first. I feel awful for thinking I could tie someone down and tell them what love is, and that they loved me and that a relationship would work out just because I wanted it to. I wish it would work that way but it doesn't.
I still feel empty, I still feel lost. I just realized that I'm okay. I'll be okay. I'm always okay. I know that even if there's a hundred people in the room I'm still only missing one person and therefore I'm alone in my head. I know that I'm alone in feeling this in my situation. I know that my friends are frankly, fed up with my dramatics. However, I also know that there are more beautiful people out there. There are more people to care for and care about. There are more break ups to come, and more simple little things that will hurt me. I'm okay with knowing that. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay.