Singing in silence.

"I wanted to know what I have done. I wanted to know it's bad."

When everything is falling apart, and getting harder and harder to deal with you'll still have me. I'm not going anywhere ever. It doesn't seem like anything is here anymore, there probably isn't. It doesn't seem like I am anything anymore because I'm not. I realized that no matter how far I go with anything, No matter how good i do in something or how accomplished I become there will always be something weighing me down. I am nothing I wish I could be. I am nothing that high expectations could ever expect. I'm the type of person that will work so hard for one thing and not get it. I'm the type of person who will give up that one thing I've been working for.
I don't care about letting anyone down anymore. I let down myself. I have four things I really love and I'm losing in all of them.
I went this far to prove myself. To prove that I could be committed in something I love. I went this far to give up. I went this far to get a lesson. The lesson being that I'm nothing. I wanted to prove that I could be something and that I'm good at something. I'm not. I just proved that the epitome of my being is a let down.
You were right, I'm an asshole. You were so right. The best part about it was walking into it saying "this is in spite of you" expecting to win. I'm nothing but a loser.